It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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