i love accidental penises.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
