Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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