Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
