Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
