I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize