So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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