I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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