My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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