So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize