so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
