Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
porn star boner night. come get it.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Randomize
