my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
