WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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