I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
