Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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