addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Randomize
