I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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