Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
We are all done wearing pants today
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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