I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
