There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Alive.
So much puke
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
