Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
