why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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