hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
