I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
