Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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