So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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