So drunk its hurt
okay pat passed out under dana's car
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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