We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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