no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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