found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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