there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
