Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
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