How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
