Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
