i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
