names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
