Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Randomize
