Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
