i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
