omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
