She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
