At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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