Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
