I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
