WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
