This girl is more easily done than said...
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
