He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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