I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
