I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
