her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
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