pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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