Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize