I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
