No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I am available for nakedness
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
