Someone shit on the floor
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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