i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
