google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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